At the beginning of this year our lives reached an equilibrium of sorts; Samuel had turned one and finally decided to start sleeping through the night, and we emerged from the fog of having two children in a two-year span. It hit me that I wanted to step back into the work of actively seeking to further the kingdom of God in my daily life, and in the life of our family. Sure we had our hands full with our kids and our jobs and our involvement at our church. But I was tired of using that as an excuse. I was tired of collapsing in on ourselves and our busyness and our kids’ needs and failing at living intentionally to serve and love the lonely, the sick, the broken, the hungry, and the oppressed among us. I had a lot of things stirring in my heart, then I happened up on this Francis Chan video that put words to exactly what I had been feeling. It’s worth 4 minutes of your time to watch.
We looked into some different things to get involved with but doors
kept closing. Then our church got word from a couple of missionaries we support
in Jordan that a wonderful Muslim family of 8 from Syria had just been granted
asylum in the U.S. and would soon arrive in our city as refugees. This couple
in Jordan had come to know this family very well over the past two years
through a weekly Bible Study and wanted to be sure they were cared for during
this very difficult transition to a new country. This family had endured the unimaginable for
the last four years, and now they were headed to a place with no friends, no
family, and no one who spoke their language.
Our church had “adopted” a Syrian refugee family of 10 last year
through an amazing organization called Gateway
of Grace, and as a small church it was going to be as stretch to take on
another. The first family really got the “A” team…several people had flexible
schedules, no children, experience with refugees, etc. But we knew we couldn’t
say no to helping this second family, so we scrounged up a “B” team…mostly
consisting of those of us with kids, no related experience, and no idea what we
are doing. But we made room in our lives and stepped off the cliff. This sudden
door that God had opened changed the whole trajectory of our family’s year and
hopefully more to come.
The details of this family’s story are not mine to tell, but in a
nutshell their home was bombed so they left with what they could carry and walked
200 miles to Jordan, where they registered as refugees and lived among thousands
and thousands of other Syrians for four years. The children were not able to
attend school and the father could not legally work. The mother has very severe
burns from the bombing of their home, and longs to know whether her five
brothers who were detained by the government are even still alive. In sum, this
family has been through hell. Yet, I’ve never seen joy or hospitality like this
family exudes. Resilient and brave doesn’t even begin to capture their spirit. It
has genuinely been one of my greatest honors to know them.
I don’t really know what direction to take this post from here, but I
guess I just want to say that the Syrian civil war seems a world away and
impossible to help, but we can start by letting love prevail over fear in our
own communities. Syrian refugees coming to the U.S. need love, support, and
hospitality from us, and I want to share some ways to do just that. And I
especially want to share our experience with other families, who may think (like
we did) that having children puts you on the sidelines from stuff like this. As
it turns out, children are the absolute best asset when befriending Syrian
refugees because—guess what?—they have children. LOTS of children. Language
barriers seem to be basically nonexistent among children playing together. And
nothing breaks down awkward silence and cultural barriers like your three year
old proudly farting audibly or dropping his pants to pee before closing the bathroom
door, or your one year old trying on the whole family’s shoes or asking them
for a banana every five minutes.
Here are several ways to get involved:
1. If you are in the DFW area, get your church
connected with Gateway of Grace.
Put a team together and Gateway can match you with a refugee family to “adopt.”
It’ll be a wild ride with culture and language differences and it’ll be
heartbreaking as you get to know these families and what they’ve endured already
and the long road ahead, BUT it’ll change your life for the better and you’ll
learn right off the bat that the human desire for community is absolutely
universal. You’ll be the friend they so desperately need, and they’ll be the
friend you didn’t even know you needed. And it’ll shape the way you view
refugees and Muslims, because instead of those labels you’ll know them by name
and see that we are far more alike than different. I could go on and on about
this, but I’ll leave it at that.
If you aren’t in the DFW area,
you can get connected with refugees arriving in your community through World Relief, Refugee Services of Texas, Bethany
Christian Services, or this list of Refugee
Resettlement Partners. Or you can search online and find organizations welcoming
refugees in your area.
2. If you are in the DFW area and want to jump in
right away, I am trying to find someone willing to help out the Iraqi nextdoor
neighbors to the Syrian family we know. They are also refugees, with five
beautiful elementary-age children, and arrived last March. Their main need is
just a few American friends, people they could call on occasionally to help
them navigate life here in the U.S. (Recent examples: they got a note from the
apartment complex saying they are now accepting online payments only, the
husband got a speeding ticket, the mother got a note from the school that she
didn’t understand, etc.) Things that are
fairly simple to us but incredibly daunting if you are brand new to this
country. They also occasionally need a few material things, like nighttime
pull-ups for their younger children, and the mother would love for someone to
practice English with her. I am trying to do all these things but honestly I
need help. Let me know if you can step in and get to know this family! PLEASE
:) The father speaks conversational English and we are working hard to get him
a job at Oncor because he has 10 years of experience in Iraq as an electrical
engineer, but currently works as an auto mechanic because he doesn’t know the
job system here. We’ve spent quite a bit of time with them and my heart longs to see
them get back on their feet here. Can you help? Call/text/Instagram/comment and
let me know!
3. We'd love your help getting the word out about
Kholoud’s home sewing shop: www.KholoudSews.wordpress.com. Kholoud is the
mother in the Syrian family, and she’d been telling us for quite some time that
she would like to sell her sewing to earn money to help her family. A few of us from our team brainstormed how to
make that happen and in October launched her shop. Her items make for great
Christmas gifts and great reminders in people’s homes to pray for Syria and
pray for displaced people like this wonderful family. She’s made about
$100/week so far—which is incredible—but orders will dwindle unless people keep
sharing about her shop (word of mouth, Facebook/Instagram (@KholoudSews),
etc.). This would be especially helpful early next year when she launches some new products. You can follow her shop on Instagram or Facebook to know when that happens.
4. Tell your congressman, state representative,
governor, etc. that you want to welcome Syrian refugees. I believe our Texas
politicians have it wrong. They call them a threat to our national security. But
they serve the interests of their constituents—so let’s speak out as those
constituents that what we actually want is for Texas (and the U.S.) to continue
its long history of helping refugees and to demonstrate courage and hospitality
by welcoming refugee families looking to rebuild their lives in peace.
Texas Governor Greg Abbot: http://interfaithtexas.org/urgent-take-action-alert/
President and Congress: https://wewelcomerefugees.com/advocate/
You can also get involved with the
crisis abroad, from home:
1. Support people who are helping refugees abroad.
You may know someone or perhaps your church has sent someone (or a team)
overseas to get involved on the ground level in the Middle East or along the
migrant path through Europe. Pray for them. Support them financially. If you
don’t know anyone, allow me to introduce you to some dear friends of ours from
our church who moved their family of four to Germany to serve the thousands of
Syrian refugees there. For safety/privacy I can’t post their flyer online, but
I’d love to put you in touch with them to hear about the work they are doing
there.
2. These friends who are now in Germany—their
oldest daughter started Just
Something Little, a movement of writing letters to refugees so that they
know they are loved and not forgotten. What a great way to get your children
involved! [I’m proud of you, Tate J]
Here are a few other resources for how
to get involved:
Syrian Circle (co-founded
by some friends of ours)
I’ll leave you with some pictures… which are pretty random and odd
because they are mostly just of our kids… I don’t want post pictures of our refugee
friends’ faces online without their permission and asking
them about it seems really trivial at the moment! But I figured these pictures
would at least give a glimpse of what involvement with refugees looks like. But
first here’s a batch of some great pictures of our Syrian/Iraqi friends from the
Gateway of Grace Thanksgiving feast (taken by a photographer at the event, and
they gave consent to sharing publicly).
[Photo credit: Prewitt Studios]
One of the coolest part of my year: accompanying Kholoud taking her two youngest children to their first day of school, ever. They were our boys' ages when they had to leave home. They enrolled in 2nd and 3rd grades and their favorite part of school is having anything that's just theirs with their name on it :)
The older children insist on carrying our kids everywhere we go, and they don't mind the ride!
Playground fun.
We had the A's (Syrian family) and their Iraqi neighbors over for dinner last fall and the kids all loved the trampoline.
Beckett on multiple occasions has drawn something and said it's for Miss Kholoud or one of the A's. He loves spending time with them and especially the youngest A and the Iraqi neighbors who have two boys in early elementary school that he LOVES to play with.
The A kids span elementary, middle, and high school, so we have a team member serve as liaison for each school. I'm the elementary one, so the teachers contact me about various things (progress, concerns, info about an upcoming field trip, etc.) and I use Google Translate to pass word on to Kholoud. Kholoud asked me to come with her to the parent-teacher conferences and the boys kept themselves busy disorganizing all the math manipulatives ;)
The boys and I spend an afternoon a week hanging out at the A's apartment and the kids have become great buddies. They take care of our boys so incredibly well. They know their favorite snacks and their favorite games to play and love them like their own.
We introduced the A's and their neighbors to pumpkin carving for Halloween and they had a blast. Eleven kids with tiny knives... what could possibly go wrong?!?
Beckett is so happy to have some older boys to play baseball with!
Hitting up JoAnn's for some fabric for Kholoud's shop.
iPhone games for the win.
Watching SpongeBob in Arabic, and I don't think Beckett even noticed it wasn't English.
The A's are always feeding us and Sam is just a total disaster when he's not in a highchair (and even then, really).
I'll end with reposting a picture and caption I shared on Instagram a few weeks ago after spending an afternoon feasting at the A's neighbors' house.
Our president-elect and Texas political leaders call Muslim refugees national security risks, public safety threats, and Trojan horses. I call them brave, resilient, loving, and hospitable. My kids just call them friends. We are so lucky to have them here.
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