Emily and Kolby: May 2013

We had Beckett baptized on April 21. Our church baptizes infants, as well as believers. Infant baptism is obviously not a part of our church heritage (growing up Baptist and all), so we talked to our pastor and read several articles and book excerpts about it and ultimately decided that while we respect both traditions, we want to have Beckett baptized, following in the tradition of this church that is such a big part of our lives right now.

As a Christian sacrament alongside the Lord’s Supper, baptism is “an earthly sign accompanied by a divine promise.” Sacraments celebrate God’s specific action for us, that in every moment of our lives it is God who is relentlessly pursuing us no matter where we may be. Infant baptism is not a substitute for a child’s eventual individual expression of faith in God and decision to turn from sin and put their trust in Jesus Christ. But by baptizing Beckett, we are affirming that even before Beckett has any idea about Jesus or His love for him, Jesus is already at work in his life.

Beckett with his Godparents, Brad and Kassidy:

Our families and a few friends were there too and we had a little reception afterward to celebrate together.

I made my first cake for my baby:

Beckett with his grandparents:

Some pictures I finally got around to taking today of Beckett in his precious outfit:

Beckett's baptism was a wonderful day of celebration!

In honor of Mother’s Day, I feel like it’s as good of time as any to write down some thoughts that have been stirring in my mind lately.

I was meant to be a mom. I’ve felt that way for long time. Really, since I was 5 years old and had to start kindergarten just two months after Russell was born and I cried and cried because how on earth was my mom going to take care of him without my help? I mean, I was in charge of keeping socks on his feet AND brushing is hair.

I have to say, motherhood is everything I imagined it would be. Far more, in fact. And it suits me well.

I had the unexpected opportunity to wait quite a while before getting to be a mom. It gave me a lot of extra time to think about what kind of mom I wanted to be. And it gave me a chance to hear from other moms. Hands down I’d say the most common thing I heard was how moms were able to enjoy their second, third, and so-on babies more than their first, because with the first baby you are stressed and anxious and insecure and have to learn a lot of lessons about what really matters.

I made it a point to really take these lessons to heart. I’m not promised a second, third, or so-on baby. So I will for sure be enjoying my first to the fullest. That was my commitment and goal. And I have had the.best.time.in.the.world fulfilling it.

Beckett is growing up too fast. At the end of the day when I’m rocking him to sleep I can’t help but think ahead to when he’s grown and what I’ll think of when I look back. I want to be a good steward of this time with him and do my darnedest to not to have the regret, “I wish I had cherished it more.”

I know I won’t look back and wonder whether his bed time was too late. Whether I ever let more than three hours pass without feeding him. Whether he sat in a poopy diaper for more than ten minutes. Whether I totally dropped the ball by not sleep training him at four months old. Whether I did enough tummy time with him. Whether he could fall asleep without being held and rocked. Whether he could roll over by his five month birthday.

So I don’t care about those things. He is clearly thriving. That’s all I need to know.

But I know I’ll wonder whether I kissed his fuzzy head enough. Whether I gave him my full attention. Whether I held him enough. Whether I spoke sweetly to him. Whether I squeezed him hard enough. Whether I smooched his sweet lips despite the constant drool and risk of him spitting up straight into my mouth. Whether I told him from an early age that he’s my boy, that I wanted him so badly.

So I do all those things, all day long.

This time is so sweet, I can barely stand it.

And this boy: